Dearest
by NeverWillBe
Summary: "You should know, Gin, that my patience is just as good as yours." GinRan, set during the Winter War, based on chapter 416 & 417.
1. Chapter 1

I can't help it. I just had to write something about Gin after reading chapter 416 and 417. This is a one-shot and of course this is a work of imagination. Hopefully the manga would turn out to be...more optimistic.

Enjoy.

Of course I do not owe Bleach. Does anyone know why Bleach is called Bleach, by the way?

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**DEAREST  
**

I'm lazy and alcoholic. You know all that, don't you? You can't possibly not know about Rangiku's notorious night-outs with the drunkards of the Gotei 13; and how my icy Taicho yells at me on a daily basis. Maybe you really don't, being oh-so-mighty as Aizen's second in command, but I would like to think that you care enough to note what have become of your childhood…friend.

Or whatever it is that you think I was.

Oh, maybe there is one thing you don't know, but should have known—I'm incredibly patient too. I wonder if that came from you, Gin. Back then, I could wait and wait for days without sleep and forcefully pry my eyes open during times of exhaustion just to check if you'd come home. Still, your excursions always ended with you finding me positively asleep on tattered pieces of cloth that served as our bed. But I naively believed that you knew that I waited, because I always did.

And still do.

So many times, after a grueling day of paperwork or just incessant yelling from Taicho, I would restlessly toss and turn in my humble quarters and wonder if you were playing a game of patience with me. Perhaps all along, even before we crossed paths, you have been waiting for something or someone, and before your anticipation is answered you will continue waiting unconditionally. So I waited too, waiting for your job to be done so that we can…share. Share whatever that's left of us when the suffering is over.

I've seen you. You, wide awake at night during our Rukongai days, sitting up in bed with your ice blue eyes opened in seriousness. You would then realise that I was staring and hush me to sleep. "Don't bother," you said once. I didn't quite understand. Now I do.

_Don't bother asking. Don't bother yourself with thoughts so evil that they should never reach you. Don't bother telling me to sleep over it, 'cause there ain't no way to escape. From your horrendous plans of revenge and redemption; from Aizen and the hurt you and him together would cause all of us._

But that didn't work, you know? For some idiotic reason I am programmed to care about you and therefore I _do_ bother. I don't even want to guess what my reasons are, for fear that I will have no way to numb myself from the pain of losing you. And numbed myself I did, after you left—floating away from Sokyouku Hill to your wonderland. I told myself that you have your reasons, and excluding me from your plans was an act of betrayal but not abandonment.

What about now, Gin? The numbness is gone and I wonder if you feel as pained as I do. I still fear, very much like a child waiting for a last-minute savior. I _am_ very afraid—can you tell? I don't know how distorted my face looks like at this very moment with you lying on the ground. Your breath is too shallow and I'm not sure if I'm picking up any reaitsu from you. Your cheeks are wet from _my_ tears, and your features blur away before my eyes as tears continue to well up and spill over my lids.

If you're leaving again, Gin, is your last wish to stop my annoying and pathetic crying? I've not cried for so long.

Because you told me you hated it.

I see your lips move but I can't hear you. I don't know if you're finally ready to share what I've been missing for so long. Yet, ironically, right now I simply do not care what you're trying to say.

"Stay!" I exclaimed suddenly, despite the difficulty of speech due to my consistent sobbing. I swiped my fingers across my face to momentarily wipe away the tears. "Whatever you're trying to tell me, it's really too late… Gin… I don't need explanations. I just want you!"

And another cascade of tears fell onto your pale face.

You can betray me a million times more, but don't you dare abandon me again. Don't get me wrong, I can go on waiting forever. It's just that I'll age and decay inside-out without you.

I grab your arm in panic as your breath slows to an impossible pace. Your eyes, no longer fixed at the fighting figures of Ichigo and Aizen in the distance, are hazy as they struggled to focus on me. "I lost, Rangiku." You draw a long breath, barely succeeding.

"Wh..at?" I realise my voice is dry and choked.

"My bet against Aizen."

"I'm losing too..." I cast a meaningful look at you before bending down to whisper. And each little word stabs me through the heart, "…that bet a hundred years ago. I'm going to be out in the rain, am I not?"

"**Stop that, Ran-chan, or I'm gonna leave ya out in the rain." You knelt before me, a hand on top of my ruffled hair.**

**My tears didn't cease, and I buried my face in between my knees before responding with a muffled "You won't."**

"**Ya wanna bet?" I reluctantly raised my head at your teasing tone.**

"**I bet you'll never leave me out alone!" I managed to crack a confident smile in between sobs, my face a mess from dirty tears and a couple of bruises from the day's food hunt. "Gin won't want to see Ran sick, right?"**

"**Rather have ya sickly and quiet than ya cryin' like that. I hate seeing my dearest things crumbling before my eyes."**

Gin, I hate that too.

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**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

Surprise, surprise. I wrote 'Dearest' almost immediately after reading chapter 416 and 417 of the manga. Watching the anime had a similar effect on me, I guess, so I GIVE YOU A BONUS CHAPTER! Isn't that great? =]

Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase read and review.

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**DEAREST: BONUS CHAPTER**

Cobwebs have accumulated at the corner of my ceiling.

Contrary to popular belief, I am hygienic enough to keep my humble home clean… most of the time. I even spent three hours tidying up this place last month. That was autumn. So yeah, last month—that's really decent since all of us had been extremely busy during _the winter_.

I bet the only room that was squeaky clean even in times of war was Ukitake-taicho's. His Twiddle-Dum and Twiddle-Dee third seats probably did all the cleaning for him.

It's strange that I didn't notice the cobwebs until now. After all, I've spent quite some time staring up at my ceiling ever since returning from Division Four. Don't get me wrong, I would rather much spend the night with the usual gang at the bar, but Unohana-taicho issued an alcohol ban on me and she's hell of a scary woman… I was forced to give up on the sa-ke at the celebration after the war, too. However I'm not too sure if I was upset over that—I wasn't in the mood to enjoy liquor but I was definitely in the mood to get drunk.

And now, the sickening feeling of alcohol-deprivation sinks in and I doubt I could ever sleep at all tonight. Maybe I should get an early start on spring cleaning.

Yes, I'll do that.

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"**Look, Ran. This is where we'll stay, fer as long as we like. We ain't gonna run no more. I've scouted, no bandits! And we can always get food in the village nearby," he stood in front of the shack and looked at his companion expectedly.**

"**Really?" her face glowed in hope. She was frail—underfed and lacking sleep. He knew she was exhausted; the villagers of the previous district had given quite a chase.**

**His back to her, he entered their new home and opened his eyes, and with much heaviness he replied, "Yep." Then, he listened to her soft footsteps as she came in behind him and hooked onto his arm. He heard her sigh, probably in relief or anticipation. **

"**So whatdya think? We shall start by cleaning up shan't we?" he asked merrily.**

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"Growl, Haineko." Cobwebs, RIP! I watch the dust of my blade fly to the corner of the ceiling and gather the webs into a grey cloud before directing it to the bin.

Hah, I'm proud of myself for utilizing my zanpakutou with such creativity. And a certain someone used to say that my shikai was a total representation of my lack of care for tidiness. Eat your words, Mister.

Who knew cleaning could be fun? The bitterness of all the suffering we went through is still on my tongue but for now, it's alright. I'm done with grieving and I still have a life. See? I am being productive and… optimistic.

Yeah.

This is life after you, Dearest.

I am not the little girl who trotted behind you through smelly alleys in Rukongai. Nor am I the damsel in distress whom you pushed out of the way when the rocks from the hawkers rained on her.

I am here now, safe and sound. I am the Lieutenant of Division Ten.

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"**Ah, how rare of you to visit, Gin."**

"**Hmm, is that so? I spy on you all the time, you just didn't know," he chuckled. He shifted about the room before finally looking back at her. "You like it here?"**

"**It's not bad," she ran a hand in her hair. "Though taicho can get really cranky sometimes (he'll be back soon). But all in all this office is a good second home. I like the couch," she smiled brightly.**

"**Aren't ya gonna ask what I'm here for?"**

"**To congratulate me?" she arched a brow.**

"**Now, now. I would love to do that but ya didn't even send me a note when I was appointed captain!" he teased.**

"**That's because I don't like you being a captain," her smile faltered.**

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By the way, look now, my living quarters in the Gotei is a spotless, dust-free unit under my care. The name and the shikai of my zanpakutou most certainly have nothing to do with actual cleanliness, despite all that you say back then.

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"**Yer getting rusty, Rangiku. Shun-po's too slow and that zanpakutou leaves dust everywhere… not cuttin' anyone ya know?"**

"**Oh, quit it Gin! Be nice to the beginner!" she yelled at her sparring partner, flushed and out of breath.**

"**That shikai is sure like ya! Lazy, makes a mess…"**

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Our shack sat at the edge of a desert-like village. Dust became a prominent memory of my childhood so I suppose it became yours too. It's funny how you were like a clean freak who insisted on sweeping the sand out of the door and wiping all the dusty miserable furniture we had. You never let me help. You said you could do it all on your own and I was too slow for the job. You smacked the back of my head when I argued, only occasionally handing me a chipped bowl to be washed.

You kept my hands clean and I'm glad that you did. I've grown wonderfully _because of you_ and _for you_. It's nice to know that I…

I've been loved.

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"**You've got pretty hands."**

"**So?" she asked haughtily, hands on her hips as she glared half-heartedly.**

"**Shall do the dirty work so you keep'em that way," his grin widened just a fraction.**

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I just wish I had known that your definition of dirty work was beyond extreme.

Strange, now that I'm done cleaning, sleep seems to come easily. So strange, lying on the futon, I suddenly remember what it felt like to have your hand holding mine in the dead of night when we both dreaded the morning, wide awake. You were vigilant; I was insistent on staying up with you. Your hands, cold and pale; mine, warm and wanting to assure.

When you looked down to study my fingers, were you proud that they were not worn like yours? Did you find out that I wanted to let you hold them for as long as possible?

Goodnight, Dearest.

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**PLEASE REVIEW. ALSO, THERE'S A SISTER FIC TO 'DEAREST', THAT IS, 'DUST IN THE WIND'. READ IT IF YOU WANT TO! =)**


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